First Steps; First Words

The first purpose of this blog is personal. It’s about taking first steps, and learning to walk. Well not really, more like writing first words, and learing to make sentences, paragraphs, essays, etc… Yes I know how to do these things already, but writing words down to be committed to public view to another thing entirely.

Writing first words without constant revision grates against my perfectionist grain.  Writing with constant revision is exhausting and time intensive to the point of both my flesh and my spirit rebelling. So I don’t write. That is one reason that, at the time of this post, a good portion of this site isn’t complete. But I must write!

I must write because God has given me gifts to help others with, and commanded me to share His Word and the gospel of His Son.

See, I know that I have something and Someone to share. But then again, will anyone care to read? Or for that matter,  anyone find this blog in search engine results?  So is this an excercise in futility, or ego? Or maybe a mere necessity (or necessary evil) in pursuit of something else desired. The drive that propels a baby’s first steps… to reach something desired at the risk of and the inevitable fall.

I have this ache in the pit of my stomach compelling me to write this in a wordprocessor, correct all the errors in grammer and spelling…. But the exercise is about putting thoughts on record. And learning and perfecting by doing the task at hand instead of… nothing… empty pages.

Please pardon the akwardness of these first steps, these first words, and the bloody mess sure to follow. And the crying of the hurt, scared child nursing his wounds. And try not to laugh out loud, nor coddle me too much when I try to take the next step. By God’s grace and providence… one day I’ll run.